Life as a Volunteer

Life here is rewarding. The scenery is beautiful, the people are mainly kind and I count myself extremely lucky to be here. Sometimes I still find it surreal.

Hell's Gate National Park:

At Pride Rock (from the Lion King!) SO COOL!

So many zebras, wart hogs, buffalos

Playing soccer with some kids

 But the reality is that sometimes it is very challenging. When I came here, I expected to feel heartbroken. I expected to feel lonely and I expected to feel sad. What I didn't expect was to feel so angry. I feel angry when the millionth person of the day yells 'mzungu' (white person) at me (like yes, I know I'm white thank you!). I feel angry when people try to charge me a higher price because I am white. I feel angry when I am coming home after a long day at work and 10 kids are standing outside my door asking me for a sweet. I feel angry when I find that some people are lazy and do nothing to fix their own problems. I feel angry when I have to wait and wait and wait because everyone is on Kenyan time and nothing moves quickly. I feel angry at the free handouts people get for being pitied because it teaches them to work to be pitied more (instead of working to make money). Most of all I feel angry at myself for feeling so angry. It's not their fault. It's their culture they have been taught to yell 'mzungu' at white people. They have learned to charge white people higher because most white people don't know the difference. They have learned to ask white people for sweets since one probably gave them sweets once. Kenyan time is them valuing their relationships above all else and to change that would be to take away some of their culture.

But, the other feeling I didn't expect to feel was such helplessness. I hear story after story after story and realize again and again how vast this problem is. There is the 16 year old girl at work who was raped by her father and now cares for the child. There is the house cleaner who was diagnosed with cancer and can't afford the treatments or tests. There is the woman in the slums who has 14 children with different fathers - a victim of multiple rapes. There is the mentally challenged woman who can't get help for her disability. There are the children with learning disabilities that will never get diagnosed and the school will just assume them stupid. I just feel so helpless...I really don't know how to help. Giving people free things that aren't sustainable doesn't solve the problem; the next day they are back to where they are. Sponsoring a child through school is hard because most organizations are so corrupt. And I'm not here for very long and don't have much money so a large scale project is out of the question!

The people that really break my heart though are the children. They are so innocent, and yet are born into such extreme poverty. I was at the garbage slum again on Saturday and they was this little boy, no more than a year old. He was playing in the garbage and we noticed he had grease all over his hands and face - he was eating it, unknowing. A commonplace occurrence here...the children's playground is garbage.

Updates on my life: I am trying to start an initiative at one of the slums, but like everything in Kenya it takes patience. Will update when I know more. My placement is going well - I help the women make necklaces and hats and handbags to sell, I take care of the kids and I go visit schools to educate them about HIV/AIDS, relationships, sexual and gender based violence, child rights, etc...

I like forming connections with the women and becoming their friends. I also like teaching the kids about their rights and answering their questions...that's when I feel I am making the difference.

Anyways, I'm trying to be totally honest about my experiences and feelings which is why this post was kind of a downer. But all in all, this is an amazing experience and I am so thankful for the wonderful people I have met here and all the support I have back home in Canada.

Bye for now!
Lisa